agent_dani: (Default)
2017-05-18 09:42 am

(no subject)

 Background: my nickname on IRC is ClothoMoirai for reasons that should be obvious.
<m> ClothoMoirai: that top makes me think you're an alien on st:tng
<m> like, you could be a prime minister of Moriai Prime 
<ClothoMoirai> Surely I'd have to beware the Ides of March as Atropos would go all Brutus on my back.
agent_dani: (Default)
2017-05-06 12:08 am

Breakup hair color!

Today I saw a new stylist and got my breakup hair done. My stylist and I were trying to come up with a name for this. It does look a lot like Oil Slick but that's pure coincidence due to limitations of how much my hair could be lightened via bleaching (I had it dyed red four years and that meant the tips stayed pretty dark.)
Laying down, hair fanned
Hair while at work
agent_dani: (Default)
2017-04-17 11:16 am

What a fabulous weekend

Saturday: book club (it was originally part of a local NoKidding! chapter; it no longer carries that name as the chapter folded sometime in the past several years) plus coffee then a late lunch with a few friends. Two are looking to relocate to Durham and wanted to visit first to get a feel for the town.

Sunday: Biker breakfast meetup in Pittsboro then a ride with some of my Durham Cycle Sisters friends. That evening I had dinner with my parents.

For the past few weeks I've been sleeping with the windows open. I'm in a third floor apartment and it's even further to the ground level (there are three basement parking levels, one of which is fully above ground and another partially at that point as the building is on the side of a hill) so the effective distance to my windows is around 4-5 stories. I've really gotten used to the sounds of living downtown in a city of half a million which didn't take as long as I had expected.
agent_dani: (Default)
2017-04-16 12:16 am

Settling in

I've been feeling pretty good of late - finding some peace on a few things. I know this separation and impending divorce are far from over and settled, even in my mind, but it's progress.

My fiber den is shaping up.

Wall 1
agent_dani: (Default)
2017-04-12 11:09 pm


"You know it's going to be a bad day when you realize the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey." -- me a few years ago (sorry, I don't even remember the context.)
agent_dani: (Default)
2017-04-10 12:05 am

So long, LJ

Yeah, I'm not comfortable with it as a lesbian trans woman. You can follow me on Dreamwidth (same name.)
agent_dani: (Default)
2016-04-27 11:52 pm

I did a news media thing.

I was interviewed by a TV news station in my area about protesting HB2. My challenge to the state to arrest me still stands.
agent_dani: (Default)
2016-04-13 01:39 am

Fiber things.

Two weeks ago I participated in a Sheep to Shawl demo.

The idea behind these events is that you have a fleece, washed in our case, which is carded, spun, and woven. The loom was already warped.

We used both hand carders...
hand carding wool.

And drum carders...
drum carding wool.

A close-up of carding.

Then came the spinning.
Several women spinning on wheels and drop spindles.

Note: My wife's and my wheels are in the background of this shot - hers is on the left, a Kromski Polonaise, and mine is the Ashford Traditional.

There were also a few with electric spinners (a.k.a. e-spinners)

After the first few bobbins of singles (what is made directly from the carded wool) were done it a division of spinning labor began to happen with certain people focusing on plying. The goal was to get it streamlined so that we could get it to the weaver. As they say, "it takes six knitters to keep a spinner busy, but six spinners to keep a weaver busy."

Here I believe she has just thrown the shuttle right to left (heading away from the camera.) In the background one an e-spinner is being used to ply two singles together into yarn (and singles from two different spinners; looks like an Ashford and a Kromski bobbin are on lazy kate.) The pokadot paper in the lower right is a helper that is wound onto the warp beam with the warp threads, separating successive ranks. It helps more even winding.

And then, there was a shawl:

agent_dani: (Default)
2016-01-22 12:24 pm


Wife: "I've gone to the dark side."
Me: "We have cookies."
Wife: "I already ate some."
Me: "Do tell."
Wife: "I've created an account in World of Warcraft."
Me: "...been nice knowing you."
agent_dani: (Default)
2015-12-25 01:29 am

Now that's interesting...

I've had this wheel since the spring. It's clearly old, likely early 1800s, and there are suggestions that it's from somewhere in Europe - Germany, France and Belgium have all been suggested now.

Until this month I never saw another like it. then I found this archive of blog posts with one that was very similar.

And today I found two Craigslist posts, thing 1 (check the 3rd and 4th photos) and thing 2.

The last clearly has an issue with the front maiden. I'm not sure but I'm inclined to think that it's a replacement, possibly made with the original having been lost and modeled on other wheels as it clearly does not it well - it lacks the mortised galley to engage the rectangular tenon-like end of the mother of all, and the bearing extending from the side of the maiden rather than the orifice end passing through the maiden like on the rest means it will never be aligned right. That's all a pity, though, because, if I'm right then it was an otherwise masterful job of matching the woodwork.

The thing 1 wheel shows an interesting feature. If you look at the upper flyer arm in photo #4 there's a straight wire running along the corner on the bobbin side of the hooks. Mine has it on both sides, and I can only guess that its purpose was to protect the wood from wear.
agent_dani: (Default)
2015-07-14 03:51 pm

What I'm doing...

Just completed:

Work in progress:
agent_dani: (Default)
2015-05-27 10:07 pm


$DEITIES preserve me.

An acquaintance is trying to get me to buy an flax wheel she has that needs minor repair and is truly lovely...and has a complete birdcage distaff! My wife would kill me if I brought yet another wheel into the house...
agent_dani: (Default)
2014-05-08 10:12 pm

Thoughts in my mind...

If I ever go on injectable Estradiol I am so calling it "Liquid Wench."

Work did department photos recently. Here's me!

Managed to snag this shot with a camera phone. It was in a display with great lighting already.

I think I figured out part of my surgery misgivings - I still have extensive swelling. I'm told it's rather late in the game and am being advised by friends that a gyn visit is a good idea, which terrifies me.
agent_dani: (Default)
2014-04-08 08:24 am

So it's been a while...

I can't remember the last time I posted anything here. Life goes on.
agent_dani: (Default)
2013-09-04 11:34 am

More surgery consultations.

Interesting day Monday.

I worked a half-day, having my wife drop me off in the morning then pick me up at 12:30. We drove to the to a nearby hospital campus where I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon who does FFS.

This consultation was for two procedures: Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) and Breast Augmentation (BA.) For FFS it involved a lot of me telling her what I don't like about my face. It amounted to a bit of brow ridge work and eyebrow lift, rhinoplasty, cheek implants, and liposuction under my jaw. Also with some attention to an old scar above one eyebrow (where I was hit by a golf club my brother swung - truly an accident - when we were both little.) For BA it involved her performing a breast exam on me and then an experiment that I describe as a more clinical version of stuffing socks into ones bra. She had demonstration models of the implants (Mentor Memorygel models) in various sizes; she'd hand me one of the size and I'd slip it into my bra then see how it looked. Curiously, 300cc and 500cc both looked good, while the 400cc didn't. I didn't think I would but, from the experience, I'm giving serious thought to 500cc implants.

Later in the afternoon I had a Skype consultation with another surgeon. I made a decision that I would do BA locally so this was just for FFS. It amounted to the same as above, but she does fat graft for the cheeks.

What struck me was how different this felt than when I dealt with SRS. I felt that I had a measure of agency that wasn't present with SRS. There's none of the gatekeeping, hoop-jumping, etc. I got to discuss with a plastic surgeon what I would like to change about my body, much as any other woman could.
agent_dani: (Default)
2013-08-04 01:27 am


I've had some rough days of late, and the last week was particularly nasty; probably the worst I've had since having suicide ideation over a year ago.

I submitted my essay to the ABC-CLIO editor for inclusion in a perspectives chapter of a book about LGBT issues. The feedback was wonderful.

I had a rough couple of weeks. Depression simply kicked my ass, probably not helped by me having briefly run out of my SSRI.

Friday saw things begin to get better, and date night was lovely. I did have a new experience at work midday: a technical meeting in which were 10 women and 1 man. I've never been in one where there were more women than men before. There was a late afternoon work do at a sports pub near work to celebrate my former manager's new job (still with the company but a different division.) At one point, observing that the coworkers seated across from me were named Bill and Ted, I remarked, "Excellent!"

We went to a GastroPub in Durham named G2B for date night. It honestly wasn't bad, but it's not going to be my favorite place. It's tapas style and their thing is meats and beers. I'm not a beer drinker, though their cocktails are okay. We did their large plate selections, both of us picking the dry-rubbed hickory smoked hangar steak, which was very good. I found the establishment by looking up who had listings in Open Table. We like exploring our adopted hometown (it's more home to both of us then where we grew-up) and some of the incredible offerings it now has.

Saturday, Angela had to work so I was off with 10 other women for a morning of kayaking or canoeing and swimming on the Eno River followed by a potluck lunch. I think I now feel the best I have since mid-May.
agent_dani: (Default)
2013-05-22 06:54 pm

...Some Other Beginning's End.

As I write this, it's just after dinner in the Eastern Timezone. I'm in Montréal, Quebec, Canada, at the recovery residence of Drs Brassard and Bélanger. I will be released tomorrow, spend that night and the next at a Bed&Breakfast in Laval, and fly back to Durham on Saturday.

On Tuesday, May 14, a nineteen year fight to have my body on my terms finally ended with me victorious. I finally feel that my res cogitans and res extensa enjoy unity; I am whole and at peace.

On to the rest of my life!
agent_dani: (Dressed-up)
2013-03-12 02:24 pm

My Interesting Times.

There is an old phrase, of dubious attribution, that says, "May you live in Interesting times."

An aspect of my life, particularly transition, is that I do so. It affects my life in a thousand odd ways, such as the fun of having a vasectomy in my prior medical history.

Two more interesting items are in my coming days:
1: On Monday evening, Duke University Medical School's Gay-Straight Alliance is holding a Transgender Health Panel on which I am a panelist. The audience is approximately 40 medical and nursing students. I am preparing both the brief introduction the MC will use for me, and what I wish to say (each panelist is asked to speak for 5-10 minutes, then the panel will be heavily driven by audience questions.)

2: An acquaintance from a book club where I am out as a trans woman (it was relevant to a point of discussion in Cheryl Strayed's "Wild" about names - she wrote something that meant a great deal to me) is writing an article about transgender people for the North Carolina Psychological Association's newsletter an will be interviewing me.

At this point, I am willing to do these and be part of the community. It is an amount of paying-forward a debt when I benefited from those who came before me and who helped me. There will come a day when I stop, because I need to simply move on with my life and have closure of this chapter, but there is good that I can effect today.