End of the line.

[agent_dani]

Had a consultation about vaginoplasty revision yesterday. The answer is that there's no real chance for improvement and a large chance for making things worse by further surgery.

In other words, what I have now is the best I can hope for, particularly since the original surgeon refuses to do anything to fix the mess he created.

I'm not okay. Maybe someday I will be.

Comments

[cmcmck]

Hugs

[agent_dani]

Thanks. I just have no idea how to deal with this. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Psychs and Drs insisted to me for years that I was worrying about nothing when I said I was afraid of having exactly this result.

[cmcmck]

Where I was warned and warned of the potential for things to go wrong.

I even got a final 'are you sure'when they banged in the pre med (which put me out).

[agent_dani]

I had none of that. There were consent forms that contained no details on the risks and which I got to see the first time less than a day before surgery - after all refund deadlines and all that. The surgeon's office refused to even send the information packet until I had submitted the final payment which was due right on the deadline, and I only got 5 minutes to talk to the surgeons immediately before being taken into the OR. I had wanted to do a consultation before booking surgery but my psych and HRT Drs staunchly opposed it because "it wastes money that would be better put toward surgery."

The baked-in assumption was that psychs and endocrinologists acted in good faith and not as mine did: invested in ensuring we either "completely transitioned" or detransitioned, and specifically did not "live too long incompletely transitioned." The process assumed that if we were booking with the surgeon then we were sure, which I don't have a problem with except for the pressure and lies by the psychs and endos.

Mine had insisted that the risks of complications, loss of sexual/orgasmic function, etc. were antiquated - that they were only risks of past generations of vaginoplasty and surgeons who performed it and were not a risk of modern surgery. My therapist later admitted to the lies because "if I had told you the truth you would have refused to have SRS. It's better this way."