Surgery news.
Mar. 11th, 2013 12:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agent_daniMy surgery confirmation packet arrived Saturday. Aside from a mystery $75CDN still on the price (the initial documentation I was sent gave the price for SRS as $19,300 but the contract has $19,375) everything is in order.
Unfortunately, the one thing I don't have is a sense of confidence in this. I feel very conflicted. What if this is a mistake and I will regret it, even if only spending the money on something that has come to mean so little.
Then again, I think back and know I was certain about it at past points. How much of the uncertainty is the years of gatekeeper bullshit?
I just don't know, and doubt I ever will.
Unfortunately, the one thing I don't have is a sense of confidence in this. I feel very conflicted. What if this is a mistake and I will regret it, even if only spending the money on something that has come to mean so little.
Then again, I think back and know I was certain about it at past points. How much of the uncertainty is the years of gatekeeper bullshit?
I just don't know, and doubt I ever will.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 08:06 am (UTC)Truth is, you'll only really know when you get out the other side- no one ever tells you that!
I don't think you'll regret it. I know I never have.
HUGS
no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 01:19 pm (UTC)I am indeed. The worst part is that the constant message is you have to know before hand and be absolutely certain.
I have a difficult relationship with it - I would rather be non-op but need certain things that require I have surgery. My next preference is partial-SRS (no vagina constructed) but gatekeepers don't like that.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 02:54 pm (UTC)The 'certain things' to which I think you refer don't require surgery here, just full time living with no intention of a return.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 03:31 pm (UTC)That's actually a big part of it. I get a lot of needless medical gatekeeping. The documentation thing is lesser, but drivers license requires proof of SRS in my state.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 05:51 pm (UTC)Story goes that before the Battle of Agincourt, the French threatened to cut off the drawing fingers of all the English archers once they'd won. The two fingered salute was the archers' response after the battle......
no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 08:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-11 04:02 pm (UTC)