Finding my price.
Aug. 26th, 2012 10:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agent_daniThey say that every person has their price. I used to pride myself on not having one, but this week I discovered in a major way both that I do and what mine is.
From a more personal and moral position was my Wednesday session with my first therapist for a surgery letter. To get that I had to agree to (claim to) fit so very many trans tropes and stereotypes. Some do, indeed, describe bits of my life (i.e. that I knew from a very young age) but I have a disagreement with those being a required part of this process because it is part of claiming invalid the gender of those who did not have those experiences, and I deeply hate having to be a part of that. My choice was to be complicit or to find another therapist and delay surgery by a year.
On a professional side, I have long said there were places for whom I would not work because of my own disagreements with what they do. Tomorrow I begin a week of doing work for such an agency as part of my job. It means being able to afford surgery.
I've made my choices; now I need to live with them and find my peace.
From a more personal and moral position was my Wednesday session with my first therapist for a surgery letter. To get that I had to agree to (claim to) fit so very many trans tropes and stereotypes. Some do, indeed, describe bits of my life (i.e. that I knew from a very young age) but I have a disagreement with those being a required part of this process because it is part of claiming invalid the gender of those who did not have those experiences, and I deeply hate having to be a part of that. My choice was to be complicit or to find another therapist and delay surgery by a year.
On a professional side, I have long said there were places for whom I would not work because of my own disagreements with what they do. Tomorrow I begin a week of doing work for such an agency as part of my job. It means being able to afford surgery.
I've made my choices; now I need to live with them and find my peace.
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no subject
Date: 2012-08-27 03:37 pm (UTC)This is such familiar territory and I know how lucky I was to have a pshrink who didn't behave like a gatekeeper especially way back when I was dealing.
Not all cis women are conformist so why the hell should all trans women be assumed to be so? I speak, as you know, as a straight, plain vanilla, cisnormative, married version of the genre :o)
The work stuff is difficult- as a Quaker, there are jobs I can't morally countenance, but...........
However, as _sugar for sugar_ says, if it all gets you where you need to go, lie like crazy for me! you know what your truth really is!