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Gun Hill Road
Aug. 20th, 2011 09:03 pmI saw “Gun Hill Road” as part of the North Carolina Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. My wife attended with me and her take is significantly different.
This film has suffered a great deal of gaywashing, as happens even with the description of the film on the official website. In my view this film is about a seventeen year old heterosexual trans woman of color who is trying to make sense of so many things - effects of transition like dealing with the world as a woman on the verge of legal adulthood, high school, dating, etc. The setting is in the Bronx, which is the origin of the film’s title.
In spite of the main subject matter, this film reminded me of “He Got Game.” This film offers even less introduction to the story and no resolution. It is very much a chapter-from-a-book sort of film where we, the viewer, suddenly find their life as it is. I would wager this is the main reason for the differing views of what the actual topic is across various reviews - there is, for all practical purposes, no background given, and the film does not really offer closure.
The span of time of the film from the earliest to the latest scenes is at least 3.5 months, but is really about 2 weeks if the mostly insignificant credit-come-title sequence is ignored (IMHO, its purpose is some background when coupled with a brief scene within the movie.)
Occasional passages were humorous and a few brought me to tears. Whatever the script lacked was well compensated by the incredible performances turned in, particularly Harmony Santana’s.
Bottom line: It could have been far worse, but I don’t consider it a particularly strong trans film. As my wife remarked afterwards, it really seemed to be a film that was far more about and for cis people; as I thought about it I realized the wisdom in those words as the deeper meaning I found was due to connections with my own experiences and experiences of certain friends.
Tears: The (first) haircut, HRT, and sex scenes with her boyfriend. All three scenes spoke to me due to my own experiences.
Haircut: my father’s attempts to enforce so much on my life. It was not merely gender roles but that he had a life script for me and I committed the crime of not following it. The two scenes involving baseball games really made this connection for me as my father had always tried to make sports be our common bond and was unhappy - even angry - that I was uninterested, and he regretted his own failure as a baseball player (he says he talked himself out of trying to go further) and wanted me to finish that particular unfinished business of his own.
HRT: I had a long, drawn-out battle with medical providers for HRT that did include a brief period where I obtained supplies without their assistance or approval. I hasten to add that various privileges in my life meant that how I obtained it was dramatically different than how it is portrayed in the film. The original reason was because I was going to run out before my next appointment (she would only write enough refills to get to when she desired the next appointment be, usually over a month less than the time until the first available appointment) and I was getting run-around about getting the prescription extended. Later, I used this supply to increase my dose. I knew what running out would do to me and it wouldn’t have been pleasant from a mental/emotional point of view. I have absolutely no regrets about what I did and, if faced with the situation again, I would not hesitate to make the orders again. I know what bad or wrong HRT can do, and I know well the horrible things that my body’s previous endocrine state was doing to me, particularly mentally.
Sex: To say sex has been difficult for me would be an understatement. I am dealing with an anatomy that my mind says isn’t right, and sex puts focus on the parts that are so very wrong. Negotiating this space is difficult for me, and being in a romantic relationship, simple avoidance isn’t always an available solution. For the past year, sex often involved dissociation; avoiding mentally processing what was happening and simply concerning myself with the mechanical actions necessary for the act to be finished.
Wrap-up: This film has many flaws, but it makes good on what it promises (or, at least, what I saw it to be promising from the trailer.) However, it only portrays a very small part of the character’s transition, and then it’s one of many (many) transition narratives - like any other, this is not a comprehensive explanation of topics like what transition is, what it is to be a trans person, etc.
( Warning: Spoilers ahead, though I will try to keep them minimal. )
This film has suffered a great deal of gaywashing, as happens even with the description of the film on the official website. In my view this film is about a seventeen year old heterosexual trans woman of color who is trying to make sense of so many things - effects of transition like dealing with the world as a woman on the verge of legal adulthood, high school, dating, etc. The setting is in the Bronx, which is the origin of the film’s title.
In spite of the main subject matter, this film reminded me of “He Got Game.” This film offers even less introduction to the story and no resolution. It is very much a chapter-from-a-book sort of film where we, the viewer, suddenly find their life as it is. I would wager this is the main reason for the differing views of what the actual topic is across various reviews - there is, for all practical purposes, no background given, and the film does not really offer closure.
The span of time of the film from the earliest to the latest scenes is at least 3.5 months, but is really about 2 weeks if the mostly insignificant credit-come-title sequence is ignored (IMHO, its purpose is some background when coupled with a brief scene within the movie.)
Occasional passages were humorous and a few brought me to tears. Whatever the script lacked was well compensated by the incredible performances turned in, particularly Harmony Santana’s.
Bottom line: It could have been far worse, but I don’t consider it a particularly strong trans film. As my wife remarked afterwards, it really seemed to be a film that was far more about and for cis people; as I thought about it I realized the wisdom in those words as the deeper meaning I found was due to connections with my own experiences and experiences of certain friends.
Tears: The (first) haircut, HRT, and sex scenes with her boyfriend. All three scenes spoke to me due to my own experiences.
Haircut: my father’s attempts to enforce so much on my life. It was not merely gender roles but that he had a life script for me and I committed the crime of not following it. The two scenes involving baseball games really made this connection for me as my father had always tried to make sports be our common bond and was unhappy - even angry - that I was uninterested, and he regretted his own failure as a baseball player (he says he talked himself out of trying to go further) and wanted me to finish that particular unfinished business of his own.
HRT: I had a long, drawn-out battle with medical providers for HRT that did include a brief period where I obtained supplies without their assistance or approval. I hasten to add that various privileges in my life meant that how I obtained it was dramatically different than how it is portrayed in the film. The original reason was because I was going to run out before my next appointment (she would only write enough refills to get to when she desired the next appointment be, usually over a month less than the time until the first available appointment) and I was getting run-around about getting the prescription extended. Later, I used this supply to increase my dose. I knew what running out would do to me and it wouldn’t have been pleasant from a mental/emotional point of view. I have absolutely no regrets about what I did and, if faced with the situation again, I would not hesitate to make the orders again. I know what bad or wrong HRT can do, and I know well the horrible things that my body’s previous endocrine state was doing to me, particularly mentally.
Sex: To say sex has been difficult for me would be an understatement. I am dealing with an anatomy that my mind says isn’t right, and sex puts focus on the parts that are so very wrong. Negotiating this space is difficult for me, and being in a romantic relationship, simple avoidance isn’t always an available solution. For the past year, sex often involved dissociation; avoiding mentally processing what was happening and simply concerning myself with the mechanical actions necessary for the act to be finished.
Wrap-up: This film has many flaws, but it makes good on what it promises (or, at least, what I saw it to be promising from the trailer.) However, it only portrays a very small part of the character’s transition, and then it’s one of many (many) transition narratives - like any other, this is not a comprehensive explanation of topics like what transition is, what it is to be a trans person, etc.
( Warning: Spoilers ahead, though I will try to keep them minimal. )
