Gun Hill Road
Aug. 20th, 2011 09:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agent_daniI saw “Gun Hill Road” as part of the North Carolina Gay & Lesbian Film Festival. My wife attended with me and her take is significantly different.
This film has suffered a great deal of gaywashing, as happens even with the description of the film on the official website. In my view this film is about a seventeen year old heterosexual trans woman of color who is trying to make sense of so many things - effects of transition like dealing with the world as a woman on the verge of legal adulthood, high school, dating, etc. The setting is in the Bronx, which is the origin of the film’s title.
In spite of the main subject matter, this film reminded me of “He Got Game.” This film offers even less introduction to the story and no resolution. It is very much a chapter-from-a-book sort of film where we, the viewer, suddenly find their life as it is. I would wager this is the main reason for the differing views of what the actual topic is across various reviews - there is, for all practical purposes, no background given, and the film does not really offer closure.
The span of time of the film from the earliest to the latest scenes is at least 3.5 months, but is really about 2 weeks if the mostly insignificant credit-come-title sequence is ignored (IMHO, its purpose is some background when coupled with a brief scene within the movie.)
Occasional passages were humorous and a few brought me to tears. Whatever the script lacked was well compensated by the incredible performances turned in, particularly Harmony Santana’s.
Bottom line: It could have been far worse, but I don’t consider it a particularly strong trans film. As my wife remarked afterwards, it really seemed to be a film that was far more about and for cis people; as I thought about it I realized the wisdom in those words as the deeper meaning I found was due to connections with my own experiences and experiences of certain friends.
Tears: The (first) haircut, HRT, and sex scenes with her boyfriend. All three scenes spoke to me due to my own experiences.
Haircut: my father’s attempts to enforce so much on my life. It was not merely gender roles but that he had a life script for me and I committed the crime of not following it. The two scenes involving baseball games really made this connection for me as my father had always tried to make sports be our common bond and was unhappy - even angry - that I was uninterested, and he regretted his own failure as a baseball player (he says he talked himself out of trying to go further) and wanted me to finish that particular unfinished business of his own.
HRT: I had a long, drawn-out battle with medical providers for HRT that did include a brief period where I obtained supplies without their assistance or approval. I hasten to add that various privileges in my life meant that how I obtained it was dramatically different than how it is portrayed in the film. The original reason was because I was going to run out before my next appointment (she would only write enough refills to get to when she desired the next appointment be, usually over a month less than the time until the first available appointment) and I was getting run-around about getting the prescription extended. Later, I used this supply to increase my dose. I knew what running out would do to me and it wouldn’t have been pleasant from a mental/emotional point of view. I have absolutely no regrets about what I did and, if faced with the situation again, I would not hesitate to make the orders again. I know what bad or wrong HRT can do, and I know well the horrible things that my body’s previous endocrine state was doing to me, particularly mentally.
Sex: To say sex has been difficult for me would be an understatement. I am dealing with an anatomy that my mind says isn’t right, and sex puts focus on the parts that are so very wrong. Negotiating this space is difficult for me, and being in a romantic relationship, simple avoidance isn’t always an available solution. For the past year, sex often involved dissociation; avoiding mentally processing what was happening and simply concerning myself with the mechanical actions necessary for the act to be finished.
Wrap-up: This film has many flaws, but it makes good on what it promises (or, at least, what I saw it to be promising from the trailer.) However, it only portrays a very small part of the character’s transition, and then it’s one of many (many) transition narratives - like any other, this is not a comprehensive explanation of topics like what transition is, what it is to be a trans person, etc.
Warning: Spoilers ahead, though I will try to keep them minimal.
Our protagonist is Vanessa (Santana,) and frequently called Michael, who is a trans woman of color who is in that difficult phase of both teenage life and her transition (note that the film never makes preferred pronouns or name clear; I use her, etc., due to my take on the character’s position.) Angela, her mother, is attempting to support her but clearly doesn’t known how. Enrique, her father, reappears after a several year absence while imprisoned. At one point Vanessa calls him out for this.
We encounter the most strict existent reinforcement of Vanessa’s assigned-at-birth gender in her school, which Angela appears willing to ignore but Enrique sees as an affront. In some very revealing dialogue Enrique shows that he isn’t seeing his child as a person separate and independent of himself but being about him, and, as a result, trying to enforce masculinity on his child. This includes a forced haircut. He later forces Vanessa into an unwanted sexual experience with a woman while Enrique stands in the hallway outside, listening. This scene is represented in an interesting way, but it makes it clear that the encounter is unwanted by Vanessa and extremely difficult and emotionally traumatic for her - I don’t think it an exaggeration to say it made her hate her body as the subsequent self-injury scene graphically shows.
Vanessa frequents a poetry slam and offers good verse. Following one she meets a would-be boyfriend, and it is with this man that she negotiates relationships, which quickly become sex.
She has two sexual encounters in the context of a relationship where she and he have very different ideas of that relationship. She sees him as her boyfriend and expects dates while he doesn’t, ultimately telling her, “you’re not my girl,” (just before they break-up) and is only interested in sex. I’m really torn about the message in how this relationship happens but am inclined to see it as the view that all trans women are doing so for sexual reasons (i.e. “trans women are presumed to transition for reasons of perversion.”) My only doubt is because the time between when they meet and when Vanessa informs him that she is trans is extremely short (and the acting felt stilted to me, though it might have been an attempt to portray inexperience,) but it appears clear to me that he goes straight to sex following that and, as we later see, his view of her becomes, to be blunt, “good enough to fuck but not good enough to date.”
The sex itself is, in order, one instance of her performing oral sex and one of her being penetrated for anal sex. The first seemed to be used to add a moment of humor as the scene ended with her tentatively unzipping his jeans and asking if he has a candy (why she asked is spelled out in an earlier scene.) The second is much more involved, and, I strongly suspect, is a point where many will see it differently. In my view, she very much struggled with having sex. I don’t believe she was ever certain that she was ready for sex, and throughout the scene I could see so many conflicting emotions. There is very little dialogue and most of it comes from how she moves her body and her facial expressions.
She also struggles with access to medical transition, which has an incredible portrayal as she obtains hormones and testosterone blocker off-prescription.
Later, unable to deal with her recently upset home life, she runs away, landing at the apartment of the man who was in a relationship with her Angela while Enrique was in prison. Because Angela demands it Enrique goes to speak with her.
The film ends with the clear close of the chapter that is the return of Enrique. However, that is the only closure afforded - we are left with little idea of how this brief but (IMHO) disruptive episode has affected Angela or Vanessa.
This film has suffered a great deal of gaywashing, as happens even with the description of the film on the official website. In my view this film is about a seventeen year old heterosexual trans woman of color who is trying to make sense of so many things - effects of transition like dealing with the world as a woman on the verge of legal adulthood, high school, dating, etc. The setting is in the Bronx, which is the origin of the film’s title.
In spite of the main subject matter, this film reminded me of “He Got Game.” This film offers even less introduction to the story and no resolution. It is very much a chapter-from-a-book sort of film where we, the viewer, suddenly find their life as it is. I would wager this is the main reason for the differing views of what the actual topic is across various reviews - there is, for all practical purposes, no background given, and the film does not really offer closure.
The span of time of the film from the earliest to the latest scenes is at least 3.5 months, but is really about 2 weeks if the mostly insignificant credit-come-title sequence is ignored (IMHO, its purpose is some background when coupled with a brief scene within the movie.)
Occasional passages were humorous and a few brought me to tears. Whatever the script lacked was well compensated by the incredible performances turned in, particularly Harmony Santana’s.
Bottom line: It could have been far worse, but I don’t consider it a particularly strong trans film. As my wife remarked afterwards, it really seemed to be a film that was far more about and for cis people; as I thought about it I realized the wisdom in those words as the deeper meaning I found was due to connections with my own experiences and experiences of certain friends.
Tears: The (first) haircut, HRT, and sex scenes with her boyfriend. All three scenes spoke to me due to my own experiences.
Haircut: my father’s attempts to enforce so much on my life. It was not merely gender roles but that he had a life script for me and I committed the crime of not following it. The two scenes involving baseball games really made this connection for me as my father had always tried to make sports be our common bond and was unhappy - even angry - that I was uninterested, and he regretted his own failure as a baseball player (he says he talked himself out of trying to go further) and wanted me to finish that particular unfinished business of his own.
HRT: I had a long, drawn-out battle with medical providers for HRT that did include a brief period where I obtained supplies without their assistance or approval. I hasten to add that various privileges in my life meant that how I obtained it was dramatically different than how it is portrayed in the film. The original reason was because I was going to run out before my next appointment (she would only write enough refills to get to when she desired the next appointment be, usually over a month less than the time until the first available appointment) and I was getting run-around about getting the prescription extended. Later, I used this supply to increase my dose. I knew what running out would do to me and it wouldn’t have been pleasant from a mental/emotional point of view. I have absolutely no regrets about what I did and, if faced with the situation again, I would not hesitate to make the orders again. I know what bad or wrong HRT can do, and I know well the horrible things that my body’s previous endocrine state was doing to me, particularly mentally.
Sex: To say sex has been difficult for me would be an understatement. I am dealing with an anatomy that my mind says isn’t right, and sex puts focus on the parts that are so very wrong. Negotiating this space is difficult for me, and being in a romantic relationship, simple avoidance isn’t always an available solution. For the past year, sex often involved dissociation; avoiding mentally processing what was happening and simply concerning myself with the mechanical actions necessary for the act to be finished.
Wrap-up: This film has many flaws, but it makes good on what it promises (or, at least, what I saw it to be promising from the trailer.) However, it only portrays a very small part of the character’s transition, and then it’s one of many (many) transition narratives - like any other, this is not a comprehensive explanation of topics like what transition is, what it is to be a trans person, etc.
Warning: Spoilers ahead, though I will try to keep them minimal.
Our protagonist is Vanessa (Santana,) and frequently called Michael, who is a trans woman of color who is in that difficult phase of both teenage life and her transition (note that the film never makes preferred pronouns or name clear; I use her, etc., due to my take on the character’s position.) Angela, her mother, is attempting to support her but clearly doesn’t known how. Enrique, her father, reappears after a several year absence while imprisoned. At one point Vanessa calls him out for this.
We encounter the most strict existent reinforcement of Vanessa’s assigned-at-birth gender in her school, which Angela appears willing to ignore but Enrique sees as an affront. In some very revealing dialogue Enrique shows that he isn’t seeing his child as a person separate and independent of himself but being about him, and, as a result, trying to enforce masculinity on his child. This includes a forced haircut. He later forces Vanessa into an unwanted sexual experience with a woman while Enrique stands in the hallway outside, listening. This scene is represented in an interesting way, but it makes it clear that the encounter is unwanted by Vanessa and extremely difficult and emotionally traumatic for her - I don’t think it an exaggeration to say it made her hate her body as the subsequent self-injury scene graphically shows.
Vanessa frequents a poetry slam and offers good verse. Following one she meets a would-be boyfriend, and it is with this man that she negotiates relationships, which quickly become sex.
She has two sexual encounters in the context of a relationship where she and he have very different ideas of that relationship. She sees him as her boyfriend and expects dates while he doesn’t, ultimately telling her, “you’re not my girl,” (just before they break-up) and is only interested in sex. I’m really torn about the message in how this relationship happens but am inclined to see it as the view that all trans women are doing so for sexual reasons (i.e. “trans women are presumed to transition for reasons of perversion.”) My only doubt is because the time between when they meet and when Vanessa informs him that she is trans is extremely short (and the acting felt stilted to me, though it might have been an attempt to portray inexperience,) but it appears clear to me that he goes straight to sex following that and, as we later see, his view of her becomes, to be blunt, “good enough to fuck but not good enough to date.”
The sex itself is, in order, one instance of her performing oral sex and one of her being penetrated for anal sex. The first seemed to be used to add a moment of humor as the scene ended with her tentatively unzipping his jeans and asking if he has a candy (why she asked is spelled out in an earlier scene.) The second is much more involved, and, I strongly suspect, is a point where many will see it differently. In my view, she very much struggled with having sex. I don’t believe she was ever certain that she was ready for sex, and throughout the scene I could see so many conflicting emotions. There is very little dialogue and most of it comes from how she moves her body and her facial expressions.
She also struggles with access to medical transition, which has an incredible portrayal as she obtains hormones and testosterone blocker off-prescription.
Later, unable to deal with her recently upset home life, she runs away, landing at the apartment of the man who was in a relationship with her Angela while Enrique was in prison. Because Angela demands it Enrique goes to speak with her.
The film ends with the clear close of the chapter that is the return of Enrique. However, that is the only closure afforded - we are left with little idea of how this brief but (IMHO) disruptive episode has affected Angela or Vanessa.
