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A little more about 2012
Jan. 19th, 2013 11:48 pmThis took me a while to be able to write, most out of fear that saying this would hurt friends.
Perhaps the most painful thing about 2012 was seeing a number of good friends realize their goals of surgery. I want to be absolutely clear here that I am so very happy for them, and that procedure for them as such is not at all what this is about.
What I found difficult was that many of them began transition well after I did and were able to have progress that I was heavily and intentionally prevented from having in spite of my strong desire to have it. The news brought with it that internal pain - that I had been powerless to change it and yet it still cost me years that I spent living my life on hold until therapists and physicians deigned to grant me permission. Even at the end of it that was made clear, for having no objection left to raise as I had met all of their requirements, they still sought to avoid writing the permission slip for me to have access to surgery.
This came soon after the prescription change that plunged me into depression, and I can't help wondering how much the two were intertwined and part of that night when I first had that horrible vision in my mind (there have been others.)
Perhaps the most painful thing about 2012 was seeing a number of good friends realize their goals of surgery. I want to be absolutely clear here that I am so very happy for them, and that procedure for them as such is not at all what this is about.
What I found difficult was that many of them began transition well after I did and were able to have progress that I was heavily and intentionally prevented from having in spite of my strong desire to have it. The news brought with it that internal pain - that I had been powerless to change it and yet it still cost me years that I spent living my life on hold until therapists and physicians deigned to grant me permission. Even at the end of it that was made clear, for having no objection left to raise as I had met all of their requirements, they still sought to avoid writing the permission slip for me to have access to surgery.
This came soon after the prescription change that plunged me into depression, and I can't help wondering how much the two were intertwined and part of that night when I first had that horrible vision in my mind (there have been others.)
