Finding my price.

They say that every person has their price. I used to pride myself on not having one, but this week I discovered in a major way both that I do and what mine is.

From a more personal and moral position was my Wednesday session with my first therapist for a surgery letter. To get that I had to agree to (claim to) fit so very many trans tropes and stereotypes. Some do, indeed, describe bits of my life (i.e. that I knew from a very young age) but I have a disagreement with those being a required part of this process because it is part of claiming invalid the gender of those who did not have those experiences, and I deeply hate having to be a part of that. My choice was to be complicit or to find another therapist and delay surgery by a year.

On a professional side, I have long said there were places for whom I would not work because of my own disagreements with what they do. Tomorrow I begin a week of doing work for such an agency as part of my job. It means being able to afford surgery.

I've made my choices; now I need to live with them and find my peace.