Letter to my parents, second draft.

Next round of the letter. I think maybe two sentences from the original letter have remained unchanged.

I'm considering this: this basically being what I plan to say to them face to face. I think we have a good enough relationship to do that, but I am considering leaving them with a copy so they can reference it.

Dear Mom & Dad,

I am writing this to share with you something in my life that has brought me a great deal of personal peace and happiness. I am doing so now because the approaching months will include some changes in my life and you need and deserve to be informed of them as you both matter a great deal to me.

For a very long time I have had a sense that my gender was not correct. A clinical term for this is Gender Dysphoria and a more common one that you may recognize is “transsexual.” A few years ago I began coming to terms with this then seeking appropriate treatment with the assistance of medical personnel to transition to live fully as a woman. It was not easy to make that decision and I spent a long time questioning it and trying to find a way to do otherwise. Accepting that I need to transition has made it very clear that this is the proper path for me. Attempting to keep this a secret as I have for so long was very difficult and what I have accomplished so far in my transition has been unbelievably positive. I have found myself better able to engage in life as a whole and overall much happier. The changes have included me finding the ability to have a healthy relationship with negative emotions such as anger and annoyance, and I’m sure you can remember the incredible difficulty I used to have with those. This has had wonderful effects for my relationship with [my SO's name], too. We both agree that I am a far better person as the woman I am becoming than I was when trying to live as a man.

In the coming months I will be having discussions with my management and HR at [my employer's name] and, following this, beginning to live my life full time as a woman. [my SO's name] and I have together selected my new name, [my name], and I will be taking the steps to have that become my legal name.

I realize that this may be hard for you to understand right now. You have seen me for many years as your son but the person I need to be is your daughter. I want to be able to continue to have a relationship with you and to share our time and joys while being true to myself. If you have questions, I will be happy to answer them, and I hope you will ask; please do not rely on information obtained from other sources. I promise you my patience and ask that you be patient with me as well, as you have so often in the past. I love you both.

Love [my name signed].

Close to the edit! (with apologies to Art of Noise.)

This is a relatively minor edit. I decided to remove the clinical language and slightly reworked the paragraph that deals with work. I think this pretty much final, although I do welcome any suggestions.

I've settled on this being what I will say to them up-front in person. I'm thinking this is what needs to be said at that point and provides reassurances for the most likely concerns - that I'm receiving treatment that is safe, that my job isn't likely to be a problem, and that WR and I are doing well through this. Following this we can talk more. WR will be with me when meeting with them. I will also provide them with a printed copy of this afterwards so they can reference my words. The printed copy will include a greeting and I will sign it.

The text:

I want to share with you something in my life that has brought me a great deal of personal peace and happiness. I am doing so now because the approaching months will include some changes in my life and you need and deserve to be informed of them as you both matter a great deal to me.

For a very long time I have had a sense that my gender was not correct. A few years ago I began coming to terms with this and then started receiving appropriate treatment with the assistance of medical personnel, in accordance with well established standards of care, to transition to live fully as a woman. It was not easy to make that decision and I spent a long time questioning it and trying to find a way to do otherwise. Accepting that I need to transition has made it very clear that this is the proper path for me. Attempting to keep this a secret as I have for so long was very difficult and what I have accomplished so far in my transition has been unbelievably positive. I have found myself better able to engage in life as a whole and overall much happier. The changes have included me finding the ability to have a healthy relationship with negative emotions such as anger and annoyance, and I’m sure you can remember the incredible difficulty I used to have with those. This has had wonderful effects for my relationship with [my SO's name], too. We both agree that I am a far better person as the woman I am becoming than I was when trying to live as a man.

In the coming months I will be having discussions with my management at [my employer's name] and the university’s HR division. [My employer's name] does specifically include this in their non-discrimination policies. Following this, I will begin to live my life full time as a woman. [My SO's name] and I have together selected my new name, [my full name], and I will be taking the steps to have that become my legal name.

I realize that this may be hard for you to understand right now. You have seen me for many years as your son but the person I need to be is your daughter. I want to be able to continue to have a relationship with you and to share our time and joys while being true to myself. If you have questions, I will be happy to answer them, and I hope you will ask; please do not rely on information obtained from other sources. I promise you my patience and ask that you be patient with me as well, as you have so often in the past. I love you both.