Sharp Dressed Dyke (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
agent_dani) wrote2022-06-19 03:27 pm
agent_dani) wrote2022-06-19 03:27 pm
Been a while, sit a spell.
At the same time a lot and not much has gone on.
My last client decided to go with a different company for all of their contracted IT positions late last year and we all rolled off the contract in January.
I spent from then until early this month on the bench, ending because I left that company due to receiving an outside offer which starts later this week. Both the employer and client are in the US PNW.
My wife has been dealing with some health issues. She had oral surgery last week and has had some other treatment in progress plus applying for and receiving a temporary disabled parking permit - walking distances is difficult for her.
I got a cheap patio set for the porch where I make my morning coffee (helps keep the smell out of the house which our roommate doesn't like) and read for a while.
I got back into therapy. My new therapist is a trans woman which has made for easy rapport for the most part, though with some issues about a few transition-specific aspects, particularly about how to manage the now-unresolvable dysphoria that was created by having vaginoplasty.
This has lead to dealing with a lot of emotions I never had the space to process safely and burred, particularly about having been sexually assaulted in the late summer of 2013 which lead to a bunch of people angry that I regretted SRS deciding the appropriate first response to me seeking support after the assault was to tell me "I bet you didn't regret SRS while that happened!" Most of the rest pulled the standard victim-blaming crap of insisting it was my fault for being anywhere unchaperoned by a man - I had gone to a Durham Bulls game (had season tickets though it might have been a post-season game that year) then stopped for dinner at Geer St Garden and was assaulted when leaving the restaurant.
My last client decided to go with a different company for all of their contracted IT positions late last year and we all rolled off the contract in January.
I spent from then until early this month on the bench, ending because I left that company due to receiving an outside offer which starts later this week. Both the employer and client are in the US PNW.
My wife has been dealing with some health issues. She had oral surgery last week and has had some other treatment in progress plus applying for and receiving a temporary disabled parking permit - walking distances is difficult for her.
I got a cheap patio set for the porch where I make my morning coffee (helps keep the smell out of the house which our roommate doesn't like) and read for a while.
I got back into therapy. My new therapist is a trans woman which has made for easy rapport for the most part, though with some issues about a few transition-specific aspects, particularly about how to manage the now-unresolvable dysphoria that was created by having vaginoplasty.
I have a consultation about vaginoplasty revision next month. I feel deeply conflicted and the decision is going to come down to a few factors, namely:
- Will it improve anything, particularly gaining sensation/sexual pleasure (which, incidentally, has diminished dramatically over the past year.)
- Will it definitely not cost any current sensation or function.
- Will insurance cover it.
This has lead to dealing with a lot of emotions I never had the space to process safely and burred, particularly about having been sexually assaulted in the late summer of 2013 which lead to a bunch of people angry that I regretted SRS deciding the appropriate first response to me seeking support after the assault was to tell me "I bet you didn't regret SRS while that happened!" Most of the rest pulled the standard victim-blaming crap of insisting it was my fault for being anywhere unchaperoned by a man - I had gone to a Durham Bulls game (had season tickets though it might have been a post-season game that year) then stopped for dinner at Geer St Garden and was assaulted when leaving the restaurant.